Thursday, December 29, 2011
I had the very exciting honor of doing a guest post for one of my favorite bloggers, The Simple Dude. If you like my blog, you should definitely check his out. It is undoubtedly funnier.
The post I wrote is about being the only guy in my Pilates class back in college and my misadventures in attempting to woo one girl in particular.
Check out the post by clicking here.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
I feel obligated to begin today’s post with a warning. You might not want to read on.
I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t write about what I’m about to write about. It is something that affected me deeply for years, and I’m not quite sure I have ever gotten over it.
I am sure that not too many children frequent my blog, but if there happen to be any little eyes reading this… STOP RIGHT NOW. This will affect you more deeply than The Exorcist. If you must continue reading my blog, go read my posts about Penis, Erections, or Hardcore Gay Porn (yes, feel free to click, they are harmless), JUST DON’T READ THIS.
I needed to talk to my mom about something important. I was eight, and among the changes I was going through were changes in my brain – changes in the way I thought about things. The world was changing around me so quickly that it was dizzying, and I needed parental guidance to get my feet planted on some kind of solid foundation.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I’m not the kind of guy that puts the extra clean sock into the drawer until its mate is found.
I’m the kind of guy that puts the extra sock back into the hamper. Through this process, the odd sock is trapped in this endless cycle of laundry, where it will be washed into eventual nothingness, I assume.
I feel bad for this poor, unwanted sock who wants only to serve his function in life by warming my feet, yet knows only the purgatory of my hamper, washer and dryer.
But that is just the way my system works.
You see, with me there is no such thing as Laundry Day.
It is more of a Laundry Existence type of scenario.
First of all, I rarely fold my clothes. Just ask any of my previous roommates, and they will all tell you the same thing. I put clothes in the washer. When they are washed, I move them to the dryer, hit the timer, and then hit “start.”
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
I frightened an old Asian lady
In a crowded mall –
I witnessed her sneeze
From forty feet away.
A few seconds later, a few feet closer,
I caught her eye.
The mall was loud;
I mouthed “God bless you.”
But the sneeze was long forgotten;
Her eyes grew wide,
She quickened her pace
As she sped past me.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Just wanted to quickly offer an apology and possible means of recovery from the state of depression that my last post might have left you in.
This song always makes me feel better, no matter what. Kids are awesome. M83 is awesome.
It is important to ignore the video. Unless you want to get motion sickness. All it shows are clips of someone driving up a curvy, snowy mountain roads. It was the only video I could find that features the entire song.
Although now that I have told you exactly what happens in the video and not to watch it, I'm sure you will watch it all the through, thus distracting you from the complete awesomeness of the song.