Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Snooki Is Pregnant (A "Poem")




Somewhere in the Bible,
It surely must say:
The coming of the Antichrist
Shall be revealed on Leap Day.

-Youngman Brown


God help us all.

46 comments:

  1. There should be a law that idiots can't reproduce.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If I said "who?" would I look ridiculously stupid or so well informed as to have avoided the "phenomenon."

    WG
    http://itsmynd.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. I had to Google Snooki to double check who she is.

    And I can now state that the process of her both will be somewhat similar to seeing Gollum slide out of a sewage outlet pipe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There I was being witty and hilarious and I misspelt 'birth' to lose all my internet cool points.

      Delete
    2. Yes, she is certainly Gollum-esque.

      And you will forever be internet-cool :)

      Delete
  4. Dear lord I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Powers that Be can only hold off such an event for so long.

      Delete
  5. I'm pretty sure this is a sign of the apocalypse...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right. A sign that is much more clear than that of the groaning earth.

      Delete
  6. I have yet to see the show, but I do know of this Snooki. I do imagine the child will be oompaloompa-esque though, no matter who the babydaddy is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's the spawn of another world. Anyone who has seen American Horror Story knows what I'm talkin' bout.

      Delete
  7. hahahahaha Loveee that poem!!!!

    Poor Snooki, everyone's going to be so hard on her! While I'm not a fan of the show, nor do I really watch it, I do like Snooki. Well, I like that she's shorter than me. That counts right? I'm 5' and that's a rare find...LOL

    Well, best of luck to her and her baby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sigh. I hate her.

      I don't know if you can like someone based on how tall they are, but fine. If Snooki were to have one "redeeming" quality, I suppose we could say that her being shorter than you could count as one.

      And yes. Good luck to her baby. Taking over heaven and earth. Or at least MTV.

      Delete
  8. The poor fetus already has the clap...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Please please please someone adopt that baby. CPS intervene now. for the sake of everyone

    ReplyDelete
  10. If I came upon Snooki and Lindsey Lohan drowning, I would have to decide whether to have a sandwich or take a nap.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This made me lol.

      But I'd save LL. I had a crush on her when she was normal.

      Delete
  11. I made the fatal mistake of reading this news over my breakfast. I can feel it coming back up now! Hilarious poem! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Make sure you keep it down.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I hadn't heard of Snooki either. I googled and soon saw I've not missed a lot, so shall return to my state of ignorance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry for forcing you to research such a frightening topic.

      Delete
  14. Who is she...a model or something?I am sorry.I never heard of her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is one of the "stars" of the show Jersey Shore, which is reality show about skanky girls and bonehead dudes from New Jersey.

      These people are gross, talentless human beings who are famous for nothing.

      Delete
  15. Snooki actually makes me so mad that I can't even think of a witty reply to your amazing poem.

    I've not seen a single episode of this "show" but I hate her and her housemates. HATE.

    But, like I said before, epic poem. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it is a tough subject to write about. But sometimes it needs to be done.

      Your hatred is shared.

      Delete
  16. even if she was pregnant, it doesn't surprise me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think most people are surprised it took this long.

      Delete
  17. Don't worry, she'll probably drink it into a miscarriage. Girls like her don't know how to *not* drink.

    ReplyDelete
  18. If we pay attention to this baby, then there's no way it can turn out to be the antichrisrock. Time for the 24-hour nanny webcam of hilarity!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure MTV has already considered this.

      Delete
  19. I have no clue who this "Snooki" is and I'm guessing that's a good thing. Just the name alone reeks of whore!

    ReplyDelete
  20. It is news like this, and damn pregnancy test commercials, that make my battle with infertility my personal hell.

    ReplyDelete

When you comment, I vibrate.