Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I'm Powerless

If you're reading this, it means that my power went out.

Because of this huge bitch named Sandy:

If Hurricane Sandy wasn't there, and if you looked closely enough, you might
have been able to see me in Pennsylvania, waving up at the satellite.

I scheduled this post on Sunday night and was going to unschedule (de-schedule?) it if my power remained.  But alas, if you are reading this, my power went out or I died before I could stop the post from going up.

Hopefully the power won't be out for too long, but it could be a week or two.  Don't worry: I have some bread, peanut butter, candles, and books.  And Sadie has plenty of Purina and treats.

I had a Halloween post planned, so please do me a favor and maintain your Halloween excitement until I get back.

And if you're in Sandy's path, stay safe!

Youngman Brown

Sunday, October 28, 2012


Today's post is a piece of Flash Fiction that I wrote for the Dude Write October Flash Fiction Contest.

The starting line for this month's prompt was "When I saw it, I nearly cried."

I hope you enjoy it.  Weighing in at 487 words, I present to you, "8-4."

*   *   *

When I saw it, I nearly cried.

There it was.  The thing that I had been working towards for days on end.  The ultimate goal that I had been savoring all this time, for all my life, really:

The final screen of Super Mario Brothers.

When I saw it, I nearly cried.  They were not tears of joy for slaving over the game for days and days.  They were also not redemptive tears of satisfaction for the pain in my wrists and thumbs being worth it.  And they weren't tears that sprang forth upon seeing the beauty of a rewarding finale of a fantastic journey.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Cloud Atlas

I don't really have much to say in this post.  All I basically do is reiterate stuff that was already said in this article:


So read that.  And if you feel so inclined, read on:

I just saw the midnight premiere of Cloud Atlas.  This fact should signify the level of excitement I had for this film, mostly due to the trailer, which I could not stop watching:

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The Girl of My Dreams, or, My Subconscious Hates Me

On Saturday night, I had a dream that I was at a wedding.  This isn't really shocking information, considering the amount of weddings I have attended or been a part of in the past few months.

What is somewhat surprising is the fact that I was in love at this wedding.

It was one of those dreams where you wake up and you're sad that it was just a dream.  Whatever connection your subconscious made between your brain and your heart for the few seconds that the dream lasted are enough to bum you out as you groggily start your day.  Instead of grabbing cereal out of the cabinet, perhaps you grab ice cream out of the freezer.

Yes, ladies.  It happens to dudes too.

What was particularly peculiar about this dreamy love connection was the fact that I hadn't thought about this girl for years.  Furthermore, I never really thought about her when I knew her.  And further-even-more, I never really knew her.

She was just a girl from high school who was three years older than me, a senior when I was a freshman. 

And that was the only connection.

Not once did I pine over her, crush on her, or really even think about her other than noting her existence.  We were in the same school for one year and then she graduated and I can honestly say that I never thought about her again.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Confession; I Don't Understand Semicolons


I don't really get semicolons.

I'm not sure if I simply happened to miss out on all of the lessons in school about the semicolon (much like my sister missed all of the lessons on how to spell the word "neck"), or if I'm just really, really dumb.  But either way, I simply don't feel comfortable enough with semicolons to actually use them.

As such, to find a semicolon in my writing is to find the needle in the haystack.  They simply don’t exist. 

When I rarely throw one in, it is done so with a grimace, as if to say “I don’t know about this…” like when you drive by a cop on the highway and you know that you are speeding.  It's just a question of how much you were disobeying the law in comparison to the other drivers around you. 

The word "semicolon" itself is an appropriate name, considering I only semi-know how to use it.  I know it has something to do with two sentences.  And connecting them and stuff.  But that's about it.

Semicolons are scary.

So scary, in fact, that I typically opt to use the double-hyphen.  Even though I don’t quite know how this one works either, I am much braver with it.  Additionally, the fact that it is two minus signs makes it a double negative, which is positive.

Or something.

My fear of the semicolon is not limited to writing.  Let's pretend, for example, that I am flirting with a female via text messaging.  I say something particularly playful.  Something like "ur so cute when u get angry."

Monday, October 15, 2012

The Blog's 1st Birthday (sort of)

Good Youngman Brown is actually more than four years old.  But I only made fifteen posts in the first three years and I was the only one who visited it, so I don't think that really counts.

Last year, I recommitted to the blog, promising myself to update on a much more consistent basis.

105 posts, 259 followers, 66,000 pageviews, and 3886 comments later, I believe that I have kept that promise.

For this year at least.

Today's post is just meant as a huge THANK YOU to all of you.  If you have read one of my posts or you have read them all, I am truly thankful for you spending some time on my blog.  To think that something I wrote convinced so many of you to write a comment, click "follow," or give me a shout-out on your own blogs or Twitter. is an honor, and really makes me feel good.  You're all my inspiration and motivation, and I love you.

Aside from the many posts I have planned for the next year, I actually have a few ideas for the blog -- things that I haven't really seen on any other blogs.

Thanks for sticking around with me, and thanks especially if you decide to stick around for a while.  I love having you.

-Youngman Brown

Friday, October 12, 2012

The Cutest Halloween Post You'll Ever See

You remember my niece, right?

Well, I'm quite fond of her.

You know what else I'm quite fond of?


Now, what do you say we combine the two things:

There she is, getting ready for her first Halloween on my sister's lawn.

Every year, my sister and brother-in-law go all out for Halloween, decorating their house and front lawn with the most beautiful display of the macabre.

While driving by their house, people stop to look.  It's that awesome.

So what do you say you help them out by voting for my niece in Spirit of Halloween's "Cutest Little Monster Photo Contest?"

The winner gets a $2500 gift card to Spirit Halloween, which would go towards more decorations, making their lawn even more amazing next year.

Click here to vote (you can do it once a day, if you feel committed to the cause)

Thanks for supporting my niece in her cuteness.  More importantly, thanks for helping to frighten the children in my sister's neighborhood.

-Youngman Brown

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

A Very Special Drop in the Bucket

First of all, I just want to say that this is not a political piece.  As you know, I barely pay attention to politics.  But I did happen to watch the debate last week, and I was fairly upset when Romney said that he was going to cut funding for PBS.

So in a form of protest, I wore my Sesame Street t-shirt today:

"T-Shirt Mike" at his finest.

This isn't the first time I have defended PBS shows.  I also stood up for Mr. Rogers, when everyone was saying that he was the reason that my generation thinks they deserve things without putting in the work.

I also wore my Mister Rogers shirt in protest then:

Yes, I wear these shirts in public.

I just don't understand why people go after these shows, which are probably the only pure things that exist in today's world.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Anything, Anywhere, Anytime

While I was driving last week, I saw an R+L Carriers truck.

Their motto made me angry. It boasted, "We Ship Anything, Anywhere, Anytime."

Seriously, R+L Carriers?  How could you advertise such an impossible promise?  Are you able to ship, say, eighty million bowling balls to the peak of Mt. Everest?  Or could you perhaps ship a single helium-filled balloon to the bottom of the ocean?

In an attempt to see if they really could deliver what they promise, I sent them an e-mail: