Thursday, November 29, 2012

Ruining a Song Forever: A YouTube Adventure

I love many different kinds of music.  You name it and I will probably listen to it (with the exception of country and hardcore/screaming music).

But I don't really listen to the radio or Pandora.  Mostly due to the fear of that Gotye song coming on.  But also because I like to discover completely new music.

So I'll usually just go on YouTube adventures, wherein one new song leads me to another new song and so on and so forth.  In this manner, I could start listening to techno and end up listening to classical a few hours later.


Here's one of the songs that I recently stumbled upon:



It was a decent song, but nothing spectacular.

What got my attention, however, was the top-rated comment for the song, which I happened to read before moving on to the next video:


Apparently, this song was loved by enough people that it had the potential to be ruined forever if certain comments were read.

Not only that, but enough people had read this guys advice, ignored it, and then gone back to give his comment a "thumbs up" in order to agree with him and bump the comment to the top so that others would be able to see his warning.  So it was legitimate.  Something in the comments would ruin the song for me forever.

Fortunately, this song wasn't anything special to me, and I wouldn't have lost a millisecond of sleep if it were ruined.  However, if such a warning were given to me about my favorite song in the world, I'm not so sure that I could have the willpower to not go and peek ahead.

And with that in mind, the guy's warning was doomed from the start.  I trust that he was legitimately trying to "save" this song for its fans, but the simple act of revealing that it had the potential to be ruined was, in fact, the first step in ruining it for them.  It is like when I'm halfway through a bowl of Jell-O or a sleeve of Fig Newtons and someone asks me a question like, "Do you even know what that stuff is made out of?" I can't just tell them that I don't know or want to know.  Because that person has dangled my ignorance in front of me, leaving it to drip with its negative connotations.  And now I can't take another bite of my Jell-O or Fig Newtons until I know that it isn't something as bad as the million different disgusting possibilities that just flashed through my mind.

Likewise, I needed to know what could have possibly taken place in the comments section to have so many people up in arms.  Had the song been stolen from someone else?  Was the artist of the song a Nazi?  Or were there just a voluminous amount of idiotic statements in the comments section that would collectively make my head explode?

Not being able to handle the intensity of not knowing, I scrolled through the comments to discover the answer.  And after a bit of digging, I was able to piece it all together.

Apparently, it all started when one guy posted this:


Here's the video again, queued up to play from the moment in question:

Can you hear it?



To me, it sounds more like "fuck this shit," but it is definitely there, and it truly cannot be unheard.

Anyway, when that guy posted the comment, many people gave it a "thumbs up," and it became a top rated comment.

At this point, all hell broke loose in the comments section.

Some people were infuriated that what was entering their eardrums had been perverted, that their song had been ruined and they had no choice in the matter:


Other people defended the original poster, likening the posting of their comment to a scientist reporting his findings.  These people were met by harsh criticism and pointed arguments from enraged fans.

Fans who were taking it very, very seriously.


And still others kept the dream alive and spreading the knowledge of the fake lyrics throughout the comments section, so that it couldn't be missed by future generations:


All seemed lost for the comment dwellers, for the comment section was saturated with this poisonous knowledge.

And then a white knight named TripNegative stepped to the plate and delivered a top-rated comment of the ages.  He and his 72 comrades who helped him hoist his banner high were the true gate keepers, warning all future comment-readers of the dangers that lie ahead.


But as I said before, his warning most likely had the reverse effect.  He would have done better to have said nothing at all, as I am sure that most people would not have curiously scrolled through pages of comments to find out what he was referencing.

As an unbiased observer, I don't think that it was necessarily cruel of the original commenter to post his findings.  I just find it incredibly interesting how, like with other auditory phenomenon such as EVPs, once you hear something one way, it is nearly impossible to unhear it.  All it takes is for someone to tell you what to listen for.

And what I found even more interesting is the epic battle that took place in the comments section, with one side so hurt for their beloved song being forever changed, even when the song itself remained completely unchanged.

I feel for them.  I really do.

But sometimes you just have to accept that there are bugs in your Fig Newtons and horse hooves in your Jell-O.  And if you've loved Fig Newtons and Jello all your life, then all it really takes is to just shrug your shoulders and swallow.

-Youngman Brown


These people need to start a blog.

15 comments:

  1. haha, i think it makes the song. that one goyte song is it "I Shaved your monkey and then I used your goat"?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gah, I love YouTube commenters. I'll be viewing a video on how spiders weave webs and in the comment section below there will be a full blown holy war going on. Unfortunately, I never have the patience to trace the argument back to the beginning.

    Also, I liked the song you posted, then I read the rest of your post. Guess I'll put this song on the backburner until I forget all about the "fuck shit".

    ReplyDelete
  3. That is hilarious. Now I can't unhear it, and frankly, I don't want to. It gives the song some much needed personality. I think I'm going to go about my errands today, just humming this under my breath. "Fuck shit, fuck this shit, fuck shit."

    "What are you doing?" my bank teller asks me.
    Oh, just humming my new favorite song.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's awesome. I love mishearing lyrics. Corrupting YouTube commenters' enjoyment of songs sounds like my kind of sport.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Holy crap! It's like I smoked crack, then dropped some E, then smoked some pot and then spent the rest of the night fingering myself. What a beautiful techno dream!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I get stuck in YouTube circle jerks ALL the time but NEVER read comments or comment. That was horrific...so much wasted time took place in that comment thread. Wow.

    That being said...I listened to the whole song prior to continuing to read the post and heard "fuck the (this) shit" clearly so...I wasn't too shocked as to what the comment was going to be about.

    Honestly...only you could BRILLIANTLY take OTHER PEOPLE'S comments and turn it into an ENTIRE post. Love it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The coast is clear...it's safe to comment :)

    I looooove reading internet fights. The people are so zealous and crazy and I can't get enough of it. And your synopsis of it was so hysterical. Gotta love that white knight TripNegative!

    But do Fig Newtons really have bugs in them?? Must Google this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The white frosting in the middle of Oreos is made with lard. I've grossed out some people with that bit of information.

      Delete
  8. The words "fuck this shit" pop into my head about every five minutes, so it doesn't bother me if they're in some song.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love how they go on and on arguing in the comment section while referencing the 'others' who are prolonging the unneeded discussion.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The things I can't unhear tend to be sloppy enunciations - a song I love was ruined because the phrase 'with your love' was sung 'wit chore love' and it drives me insane now. As do all songs do that don't have separation between the sometimes silent 't' and the next vowel-starting word. You'll never unhear that now when it happens.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The comments either break or make youtube videos half the time. My favourite comments are on the TISM song "I'll never be an ol/ man River" which is about using celebratories as heroes and role models for kids and overdosing on the same drugs. The line in the song that sparked outrage from River Phoenix fans is "I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix"
    The Phoenix fans tried to protect their martyr because "he was against all forms of abuse" and then TISM fans said "Satire. But river wasn't against ALL forms of abuse, because he still died face down like every other junkie"

    And then the flame war grew worse from that.

    ReplyDelete
  12. 5 Tips to a flat stomach
    ----------------------------------

    There are long lasting ways to get the amazing middle
    you crave. These genius tips Will help you shed inches
    and pounds, banish the bloat, And feel even more
    gorgeous we have very best advice for quickly shrinking
    your tummy. Here are the surprising
    Hello, skinny
    jeans! Stop making these 5 Major mistakes and you will
    Finally lose your stubborn belly fat

    http://juicyabs.com

    http://www.facebook.com/5TipsToAFlatStomach?skip_nax_wizard=true

    ReplyDelete
  13. I like reading battling comments on different posts (on Youtube, Facebook, where ever). I'm with you on folks just need to accept some things and move on. One of my college professors told us what was in jello. While I can still eat it, I do have to distract myself so I don't "hear" him in my head.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This reminds me of a Paul Young song from 1985. The line in the song was:
    "Every time you go away, you take a piece of me with you"

    I quite liked the song until someone suggested the above line was:
    "Every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you".

    I could never listen to the song again!

    ReplyDelete

When you comment, I vibrate.