Friday, January 4, 2013

A Brief Defense of "The Bachelor"

If you've known me for a while or have read some of my previous posts, you know that my biggest guilty pleasure is The Bachelor.  It is honestly one of the worst shows on television. 

As well as the best.

I haven't watched the past few seasons.  One, because I don't have too much time.  Two, because many of the past seasons have been The Bachelorette, and I just can't bring myself to watch a whole bunch of dudes vying for the affections of one woman.  Not to mention the fact that the last woman they used (Emily) was the most fake and boring woman who constantly used her sob story as a crutch.  I mean, who wants to waste their time with her, amirite guys?

Guys?

Anyway, I've committed to watching this season, and tweeting nonsense during the show (when I'm not working).  If you don't follow me on Twitter, you probably should.  Just one click on the thingamajig on the right side of my blog*.

*Did you know that "thingamajig" is a real fucking word?  The red squiggly line didn't show up when I wrote it, so I looked it up on dictionary.com and wouldn't you know -- it's a word!  With a definition and everything!

If you haven't watched The Bachelor before, maybe this is your chance to watch it and understand why people love it so much.  It is one of those shows that looks terrible before you watch it.  The people on the show are terrible.  The drama is terrible.  The buildup is terrible.  The way the competition even works is terrible.

But there's something about it that makes you embrace all the terrible things and keep watching to find out if it really will be "the most dramatic rose ceremony ever."  Or to find out which girl faints or cries or gets drunk or leaves the show, even though the excessive previews pretty much explicitly tell you how it all goes down.

And if that's not enough to entice you to watch, might I interest you in joining...

KIANWI'S BACHELOR FANTASY LEAGUE!!!!

Yea, you read it right.  A Bachelor Fantasy League.

Pick three girls.

One of your girls cries?  Two points.

One of your girls gets drunk?  Three points.

One of your girls warns the Bachelor about another girl?  Five points.

One of your girls returns after being eliminated from the show?  Ten.  Fucking.  Points.

There are many other ways to get points, and I'm helping Kianwi with some ideas, but the coolest part is that you get to pick one of your girls as a quarterback each week, and she gets double points.

Anyway, head on over to the league to get all the deets.

I meant for this post to be one, maybe two sentences, just to promote the fantasy league.  But look how I've ranted.

I dunno.  I guess that once I start talking about The Bachelor, I just can't bring myself to stop.

I'm such a loser.

-Youngman Brown

9 comments:

  1. I'm a douche! I begged and begged Kianwi to join my fantasy football league but when she begged and begged me to join her Bachelor league I declined. Mainly because I just can't bring myself to watch the show.

    Thank you, Youngman, this post might guilt me into it. Might, being the key word.

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    Replies
    1. What??? Youngman might be able to guilt you into joining when I could not?? That's not right! Dang boys.

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  2. This was the most dramatic post ever in the history of Youngman Brown. Until the next one.

    Love it! You captured the fabulous insanity of the show pefectly. 100. Fucking. Points. for you!

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  3. OMG I adore this post, simply LOVE it!!! I'm a Bachelor franchise freak and watch every episode of both the Bachelor and Bachelorette. Little Miss Emily lives here in North Cackalacky so we hear all kinds of good gossip on her!!!!!

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  4. I love Kianwi with all my heart but even she can't get me to watch that show. Now, if she did an Atlanta Housewives game I would totally be in. I can't stop watching those crazy rich hoochies.

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  5. Not familiar with the show I'm afraid. (Just asked my 18-year-old daughter about it and she's a fan). Clearly, I'm from the wrong generation.

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  6. I can't watch it. I love Kianwi and I love you, but I can't commit.

    Love,
    Janie

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  7. It sounds like a fun game, but I don't watch the show and even if I did I only catch the ones I DO watch ON DEMAND, so I would always be behind.

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  8. Holy shit there's a fantasy league? I have to tell my best friend. She (yes, sorry, she's a female) LOVES The Bachelor. It's her guilty pleasure too. If she had a Twitter account, I'd tell her to follow you just so she could have a kindred spirit to share highlights (and lowlights) from the show.

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