Friday, March 22, 2013

Tenth Grade Youngman Brown

This week, Dude Write is teaming up with bytestories.com.  Here are the rules:
  • Tell us a real-life story. An embarrassing, funny, or cringe worthy story.
  • You must have either witnessed the embarrassing happening (good) or have had it happen to YOU (even better!)
  • The story should take up no more than 1500 characters, including spaces (that's something like 200+ words)
So here you go, world.  Something embarrassing:

*   *   *

I have no idea what he could have said that was so funny, but the photographer who took my tenth grade school portrait said something that made me laugh really hard.

There was no chance that I'd upload the actual picture.
So you get Mitt.  Sorry.
As evidenced by my tenth grade portrait.

In the picture, my head is tilted back, as if I am in the primary detonation phase of a sneeze... but really happy about it. 

It was bad.

Like, if for some reason you needed to Google Image search "teenager laughing hysterically," it is the picture that you would choose and upload to your blog, ignoring all thoughts of copyright infringement in the process.  It had a borderline fake-ish quality, it was that obvious.  With the head tilting back and the eyes clenched tightly and all.

As if I had done it cynically.  As if I scoffed at the concept of "school portraits."

You'd think that the photographer would have, you know, taken another.  Considering that he was the one who caused me to laugh maniacally, you know?

I could get retakes, of course.  And I did.  And they came out as handsome as you'd imagine.

But there was a different problem.  A problem that had a name: The Yearbook Committee.

The pictures that were taken on Picture Day were the ones that were used for the yearbook.  No exceptions, they said.  Like, whatsoever.

And that is how, amongst a gallery of smiling teenagers, the portrait of Tenth Grade Youngman Brown defiantly stood alone as the most embarrassing school portrait to ever appear in a yearbook. 

For the rest of time.

-Youngman Brown


Head on over to Dude Write to check out other embarrassing bytestories, and then vote for your favorite!

Dude Write


13 comments:

  1. I love everything about this post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aw, cm'on. I wanna see the picture. You're not allowed to bring up a topic like this and then not share the photo. It's against the rules. I have a Grammar Police badge and I can arrest you.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can picture the scene perfectly in my head. Only because my 8th grade photo, the photographer said I should move my head, then he said "perfect."

    That is the story of the incredibly ugly Ostrich picture...

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is awesome...there's one thing that would make it way more awesome though. SHOW US THE PICTURE!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh no! What's up with those school portrait people anyway? One year they combed my kids' hair in such a horrible comb over that we still refer to that photo as the Ted Koppel. Then this year, they chose to capture, print and charge me for a photo of my kid with a huge strand of hair standing straight up at attention. Did they tell him to smooth it down? Or take a different shot? Nope. Then they didn't notify us of retake dates. I'm stuck with a packet full of Alfalfa shots.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am REALLY disappointed that you have not shared the picture. Is there a petition or something that we could sign, forcing you to upload it?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes, I'm with SFM on this one. Let's see the picture! Go on - you know you want to.

    ReplyDelete
  8. PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

    No but seriously. I hate school pictures, and no amount of Internet begging would ever get me to post one. So good for you, sticking with your convictions.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm with Janie. Writing a whole piece on this and then NOT uploading it should be a crime. Come on, DO IT!

    ReplyDelete
  10. EXTREMELY disappointed you haven't included the picture! Upload it!

    ReplyDelete
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